Nature makes sure we fall in love with the most incompatible person in the entire universe…. Which is exactly why nature has to DRUG us! The Chemistry Of The Love. When you fall in love, your brain releases a cocktail of chemicals including Oxytocin, Phenylethylamine and Dopamine designed to set your heart thumping and of course, light a fire in your loins.
In fact, the only difference between being in love and being an addict high on drugs is that being in love is legal.
Just like getting high, falling in love allows you to see the world through beautiful rose colored glasses — only seeing what makes you feel good and ignoring what makes you feel bad. Hollywood has glamorized the Romance Stage , making it out as the pinnacle of romantic achievement.
Couples who hit the Power Struggle stage often break up and look for more compatible mates, only to discover that the same thing happens in their next relationship all over again… and again… and again. The highest percentage of first marriage divorces happen here — around the 3 to 4 year mark. So, you get to work trying to change your partner back into the person you thought they were, or punish them for not being that way, or both. Often one partner pulls away and withdraws, needing space… and the other partner needily chases them feeling emotionally deserted.
If you can relate to any of this in your own relationship, then your relationship is likely stuck in the Power Struggle Stage.
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The goal of this stage of the relationship is to establish your autonomy inside your relationship, without destroying the love connection between you. This stage can last anywhere from a few months to years and years, depending on the support and guidance you have and your willingness to grow. The other alternative is that you overcome the Power Struggle , either on your own, or with professional guidance. As simple as that sounds, actually getting through the power struggle stage is not an easy ride for most couples.
The only reason my partner and I are together today is because we sought professional help.
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So what can you look forward to beyond the Power Struggle? You both have clear boundaries and you need to learn mutual respect. You can get stuck in this stage if you get too attached to the peace and stability that comes with it. Remember that all growth requires change and getting outside your comfort zone.source
The 5 Relationship Stages
In the commitment stage, you fully surrender to the reality that you and your partner are human and that your relationship has shortcomings as a result. Couples generally do not have much conflict at this stage of the cycle as each is really trying hard to impress the other person. This stage may last for 3 or 4 months depending on the individuals and their maturity, experience and self-understanding. For women especially there may also be a desire to figure out where the relationship is headed.
The Five Stages of Dating
Going slowly in making any decisions about a relationship are more likely to be better ones than moving quickly unless it is clear that the relationship is not a good fit. During this stage of a relationship, hormones are calming down and reality sets in. Both halves of a couple will notice weaknesses and differences or flaws.
Some of those perpetual issues or differences such as free-spending or frugal, neat and orderly or sloppy and disorganized, interested in lots of time together or more involved in outside activities begin to emerge. At this stage of the relationship, couples will take note of the differences and may even begin to complain or attempt to problem-solve.
As intimacy develops between the two people, more self-disclosure emerges, both verbally and nonverbally as couples act in ways that are more like how they are in their daily life. This is when the big question emerges even more strongly: Pushing for an answer; however, may cause real problems in the relationship. Each person needs to listen to their own inner voice and wisdom.
The 4 Stages of Dating Relationships
Open and honest conversations should be happening as couples plan their present and future together. Questions about children, finances, careers, future goals and lifestyle should be discussed more fully. Differences are normal and couples will learn about themselves and their relationship as they note how they handle these differences with each other. This is also an important stage for couples to use to evaluate the relationship and their ability to be part of an emotionally intelligent relationship.
Engagements can be broken much more easily and can clearly be a better decision than getting married and divorced. For those seeking addiction treatment for themselves or a loved one, the MentalHelp. Our helpline is offered at no cost to you and with no obligation to enter into treatment.
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